Mundane Doesn't Describe It

For the slackatudinally challenged.

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I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. Mark Twain, Hard work doesn't harm anyone, but I do not want to take any chances. - Unknown, I am retired and have tried to do as little as possible - slowly. Me.

Monday, September 04, 2006

The Trailer Park And The Tombstone

While I was in the military and after I divorced, I couldn’t afford a very decent place to live. At the new place I was sent, I found an old trailer in the trailer park from hell. To say it was an upscale place would be a lie. This was a place where you got what you paid for and the rent was low. The owners did as little as possible for any repairs on anything. I had looked at the place and it was a wreck, but they said they would have a cleaning lady come in and tidy it up. When they called to say it was ready and I first walked in, I could tell no difference from the last time I saw it. It took me a week of cleaning before I would move any of my stuff in.

Here’s a few of the exploits that happened.

The first month there I had met my next door neighbors. Since I had a telephone, they would be over to use it from time to time. Their mother who was about 20 years older than I was would come over and talk from time to time. One morning I get up to go to work and I find a napkin under my window shield wiper and on it was written I really like you and signed by the mother. It was also doused in perfume. I was dumbstruck and the only thing I could say was “Oh my God!” I was saying that over and over as I walked into my office carrying the napkin. I showed my boss and co-worker and they were rolling in the floor laughing. The whole day at work I kept thinking I don’t need this. That afternoon when I got home the mother came over and said she and her daughter-in-law got drunk the night before and put it on there as a joke. Later on in the conservation she told me how hard it was to live with her children and that if I wanted someone to live with me, she was available. I told her politely and firmly that I had just gotten out of a relationship and wasn’t ready for a new one. During this time inside my mind I’m screaming, “Oh my God!”

One bad thing about these trailers was that they were placed so close to each other. For some reason when people got up in the middle of the night in the next trailers you could feel the vibrations in your trailer. At first I thought someone was trying to break in. I’ve never owned a gun, but the whole time I was living there I had a butcher knife by the bed. Anyway where did the tombstone come in? When I first moved in I was walking around the back of the trailer and saw a stone covered over by a little bit by grass. It was a flat tombstone. It had a guy’s name, that he was killed in the Korean War and the date. I thought what the hell; they have a trailer park in an old cemetery! Between the vibrations from other trailers and the tombstone my first days there were not that good. Many many sleepless nights. I found out later that these were practice stones for a tombstone maker, and the owners had bought a lot of them as stepping stones for around the trailers. This one had gotten turned over with the name and info on it. Still didn’t help much knowing that.

The last big event that happened while I was there was one I’ll never forget. I had a neighbor across the street that had two little lovely twin girls that used to come over when I took Henry (this was just before George) out. They would come over with their mother and pet Henry and play with him. She would come over and use the phone from time to time also. The family seemed like a very nice family and I got along very well with all of them. I would even ask the Mother when I was going home for the weekend to watch out for my trailer. She always said she was happy to watch.

One day I come home at lunch to take Henry to a vet appointment. Turning off the main highway I see two police cars sitting there and wonder what’s going on. I pull into my street and see a police car there and right in front of my trailer is three police cars. I pull into my trailer and of course I’m looking to see what going on. I can see police going in and out of my neighbor’s trailer. Since they weren’t paying any attention to me, I got Henry and went to the vets. On the way there I see more police cars coming that way. I get Henry to the vet and bring him back home. My lunch hour is almost over and I rush Henry into the trailer and come back out. When I get to my car, the police are taking the Mother out in handcuffs and I go over and ask what is going on. The mother told me as they were walking her by that the police said she stole some stuff. They put her in the car and she’s gone.

I’m freaking of course and that night on the local news they reported that my neighbor and a man, not her husband, had been breaking into these U-Store-It places and stealing things. They reported that the police had found over $30,000 worth of stuff just in her trailer. Now this is the woman I had asked to keep an eye out for my place when I was gone. Her husband was not arrested because he had said he had no idea where the stuff was coming from. I never could quite buy that for some reason. But I am glad they left one parent there for the kids. They moved away shortly after that and I never did see them again.

Other than waking up twice in the middle of the night with someone trying to pull open my door to come in the trailer, everything was pretty serene. I complain now about George yapping, but I do think that yapping saved me twice from a break in. It’s amazing how much adrenaline can get you going when you know someone is on the other side of the door and you’re screaming I’ve got a gun and I’ll blow your F****ing head off if you don’t leave. Of course I never had a gun and I kept hoping they didn’t either. The police were called the first and second time, but nothing ever came of it.

Truthfully there was a lot more stuff that went on there, but this is getting kind of long, so I’ll end here.

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