Connections Again.

Something that Manny asked over at the Welcome Wagon got me to thinking about something else. Connections again. He asked, What's something you always forget to do? I wrote it’s not what I forget to do, but who I forget.

I left this town in my early 20’s. It’s a small Southern town and there just wasn’t opportunity or jobs. I did different things, joined the military, retired from that and then moved back here in my early 50’s. So to say the least, I’ve been gone for a long time and changed in many ways.

A lot of times I have people I used to know come up to me and ask how I’ve been doing, and how good it is to see me again. I’m staring at the people and inside my head I’m freaking. I’m thinking who is this? Say something to where I can connect you back to that time. Just about all the time, nobody says anything to where I can connect him or her and I try to fake my way through knowing who they are. More than once, they knew I didn’t recognize them and that made me feel bad. Although not bad enough to ask them who the hell they were. Now that’s embarrassing to me, and I know that they probably feel bad. I mean who wants to think, geeze I wasn’t important or outstanding enough for you to remember me? I know I don’t.

This bought another connection to me. I’ve looked at life and people I’ve known as a play or TV show sometimes. What I mean is that sometimes I think, am I a main character in their life’s play, or am I a background character? Do I do a walk on and then I’m forgotten, or do I have a bigger part? Do I set up props and scenes in their lives and I’m never seen on the stage? Of course I don’t look at it all the time like this, but the thought does cross my mind every now and then.

With family you’re always on stage. That play doesn’t end until you do. Some people don’t want to have anything to do with their family, and although they might deny it, they’re still in that play. I’ve been lucky with my family in that we’re all on stage and we all play a good part.

So what about the people whose faces I can’t place? I’ll come home a lot of times and tell Fmom or a brother or sister who I had talked to and what they looked like. They’ll usually say, Oh that’s so and so, you don’t remember him or her? Sometimes I honestly do believe I’m an early candidate for Alzheimer’s. Unless I write down what I do everyday, I can’t remember what I did three days ago. Ok make that two days ago. So I’ll probably keep bumping into people who I should remember, but don’t. I’ll probably keep trying to fake my way through it, but I really do wish I had a better memory. Sometimes I just don’t make the connections.