Mundane Doesn't Describe It

For the slackatudinally challenged.

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Location: United States

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. Mark Twain, Hard work doesn't harm anyone, but I do not want to take any chances. - Unknown, I am retired and have tried to do as little as possible - slowly. Me.

Monday, February 04, 2008

The Tests.

With all the things that have been going on around the house, I forgot to tell ya’ll what happened with my last two tests. It actually turned out to be three tests. The first two were a nerve conductivity test. On this test they clean the skin with alcohol around where they will be testing. They then taped an electrode to one end of my ankle. Now you’ve seen and heard those electrical machines they use in the movie Frankenstein. These machines weren’t quite that bad, but I could hear the hum of the power. The nurse would tell me to hold on and she would touch what looked like a miniature cow prod to certain areas on my legs. If I said it didn’t hurt, I would be lying. She went through about thirty of the prods and then she was done. That was the easy part. The doctor came in next and what he had to do was out of the Middle Ages.

The doctor had these needles that he inserted into the muscles and applied electricity. I was supposed to flex and relax the muscles while he was doing this. This part made the cow prod part seem like a piece of cake. The neurologist said it looked like I had some type of neuralgia. He gave me a long name, which I didn’t catch, but I’ll have to wait to see what my GP says. All I’ll say is for those two test – NEVER AGAIN!

The last test was an ultrasound. I figured this wouldn’t be that bad. The woman that did it was definitely manic. A lot of times it seemed she was trying to push the probe through my leg and after each time she said, “that wasn’t so bad was it.” The rest of the time she was talking about some guy that was thirty minutes late for his appointment and raised hell he wasn’t pushed ahead of all the people there who were on time.

I finally got out of the hospital and test and made my way home. I’ve come to the conclusion that they make some of the test so bad that you would rather put up with what you have than to go through those things again. I can see me now using a wooded stick to try to move along and they tell me, “we could run these test on you.” I think I would through the stick away and run as hard as I could.

Other than that, everything was peachy keen.


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